Thank-you, cbmarshall. Here's a bag of gold...which we're not going to give you.
I read with some level of disinterest that the marketing chaps at PlusNet are running a new promotion. 
Well, shoot, give me the script. I'm all ears. Turns out this month, it's good old M&S vouchers. In time for Christmas too....
My initial reaction, was, oh ****, I signed up a customer today and I didn't know about this. See, although I got a cheeky little PlusNet Pro account out when the Dabs vouchers were "on offer"; I also got a couple of referrals during the "Free 3 months promotion" a month later - the main difference between the two promos being that one was automagically applied to the referee and the other only applied on entering a magic-secret-small-print-code into a magic-minuscule(and IMO non-existent) "voucher box".
Where am I going with this? Well me old muckers, I went looking for said magic-voucher box this time "just in case". And it weren't there, I tell you. All good, thought I - and pressed onward - making sure my username <cbmarshall> if you must know, was in the relevant box. No worries. Then I discover the promotion this evening..... panic sets in as I read the small print.... could this too be automagically applied or do I need a secret code??? The suspense is killing me! Will I get £20 of the Queen's own Sparky vouchers in time for turkey at Christmas? (Incidentally, had I known about the promo, I might have "sold-up"...opportunity missed my marketing friends.)
Well, you know, who knows. Because I don't. In fact, if I hadn't applied some amount of pressure on the Question system, I wouldn't know if I was due Dabs vouchers, six months of glorious unfettered internet in all it's broad glory or for that fact, the afore-mentioned turkey and underpants vouchers.
Would it kill you, PlusNet, with all your bells, whistles, Clever Open Source things to make your lives easier, uSwitch Certificates of Greatness and majestically selective and picky email spamming systems to actually send me an email congratulating me on my successful job of selling your wonderful service to another member of the human race? You could put such things as "Thanks, cbmarshall, you top chum, you!", "You're saving us a Liberian-Deficit scaled £££'s in marketing and sales with your hard work, here - would you like to star in our next Halifax inspired advert holding a dog?", and of course, "Here's 50p a month for your efforts, big man - you're Aberdonian so we know it'll go a long way".
And then, after making me feel totally great, you can PS: "Oh, hey! You're getting some free stuff too! We've just posted it.... Susan in Marketing licked the stamps herself and posted the envelope in her lunch hour, you lucky chap...."
Look, we all know (and if you don't, you should) that the referral scheme is a bit broken right now. (I hate to think how it affects those on a LOT of referrals - I'm on, what? £11 worth a month? So I'm not going to paint my face blue and shout "freedom". (Yet) So please add the above suggestions to your potential "future developments".
Consistency would be good, when it comes to paying the masses for their recommendations. Lordy, you chaps have no consistency. Vouchers one week, free broadband the next, special codes for this one, all under-wraps for the next. How many referrals does a gent need to get before you sit up and take notice that they might be going out of their way to recommend PlusNet. (I.e. What we call in the comms business, a dealer. Believe me - 22 referrals in 13 months - I'm not even trying here; PlusNet is a means to an end; that of cheap broadband for the customer so I can sell other stuff.). When I asked your support line if you had any kind of "dealer" support, the agent when away to speak to a supervisor and came back with the conclusion that I am a raving lunatic. The upshot of that is that if I can sell a more premium service from a provider who does give me dealer support, I'll do it. It's probably worth the extra support and extra pounds.
Anyway, in the interim, how about delivering on the promotions you have already run and sending me the vouchers and broadband discounts I'm due. Tomorrow's good for me. Until then, I'll hold fire on getting excited about buying my wife a new St Michael brassiere.
P.S - For your next promotion, why not simply credit us a slightly smaller amount of cash instead of these vouchers...
Well, shoot, give me the script. I'm all ears. Turns out this month, it's good old M&S vouchers. In time for Christmas too....
My initial reaction, was, oh ****, I signed up a customer today and I didn't know about this. See, although I got a cheeky little PlusNet Pro account out when the Dabs vouchers were "on offer"; I also got a couple of referrals during the "Free 3 months promotion" a month later - the main difference between the two promos being that one was automagically applied to the referee and the other only applied on entering a magic-secret-small-print-code into a magic-minuscule(and IMO non-existent) "voucher box".
Where am I going with this? Well me old muckers, I went looking for said magic-voucher box this time "just in case". And it weren't there, I tell you. All good, thought I - and pressed onward - making sure my username <cbmarshall> if you must know, was in the relevant box. No worries. Then I discover the promotion this evening..... panic sets in as I read the small print.... could this too be automagically applied or do I need a secret code??? The suspense is killing me! Will I get £20 of the Queen's own Sparky vouchers in time for turkey at Christmas? (Incidentally, had I known about the promo, I might have "sold-up"...opportunity missed my marketing friends.)
Well, you know, who knows. Because I don't. In fact, if I hadn't applied some amount of pressure on the Question system, I wouldn't know if I was due Dabs vouchers, six months of glorious unfettered internet in all it's broad glory or for that fact, the afore-mentioned turkey and underpants vouchers.
Would it kill you, PlusNet, with all your bells, whistles, Clever Open Source things to make your lives easier, uSwitch Certificates of Greatness and majestically selective and picky email spamming systems to actually send me an email congratulating me on my successful job of selling your wonderful service to another member of the human race? You could put such things as "Thanks, cbmarshall, you top chum, you!", "You're saving us a Liberian-Deficit scaled £££'s in marketing and sales with your hard work, here - would you like to star in our next Halifax inspired advert holding a dog?", and of course, "Here's 50p a month for your efforts, big man - you're Aberdonian so we know it'll go a long way".
And then, after making me feel totally great, you can PS: "Oh, hey! You're getting some free stuff too! We've just posted it.... Susan in Marketing licked the stamps herself and posted the envelope in her lunch hour, you lucky chap...."
Look, we all know (and if you don't, you should) that the referral scheme is a bit broken right now. (I hate to think how it affects those on a LOT of referrals - I'm on, what? £11 worth a month? So I'm not going to paint my face blue and shout "freedom". (Yet) So please add the above suggestions to your potential "future developments".
Consistency would be good, when it comes to paying the masses for their recommendations. Lordy, you chaps have no consistency. Vouchers one week, free broadband the next, special codes for this one, all under-wraps for the next. How many referrals does a gent need to get before you sit up and take notice that they might be going out of their way to recommend PlusNet. (I.e. What we call in the comms business, a dealer. Believe me - 22 referrals in 13 months - I'm not even trying here; PlusNet is a means to an end; that of cheap broadband for the customer so I can sell other stuff.). When I asked your support line if you had any kind of "dealer" support, the agent when away to speak to a supervisor and came back with the conclusion that I am a raving lunatic. The upshot of that is that if I can sell a more premium service from a provider who does give me dealer support, I'll do it. It's probably worth the extra support and extra pounds.
Anyway, in the interim, how about delivering on the promotions you have already run and sending me the vouchers and broadband discounts I'm due. Tomorrow's good for me. Until then, I'll hold fire on getting excited about buying my wife a new St Michael brassiere.
P.S - For your next promotion, why not simply credit us a slightly smaller amount of cash instead of these vouchers...
What a great post! 
I reckon that original post is worth an M&S voucher anyway, just for making me laugh on a Tuesday. 
Might see if I can persuade 'Susan' to send you one.
Might see if I can persuade 'Susan' to send you one.
Apparently my case has been moved to the priority pool...
Though that was two days ago, so I guess I might get a bit wrinkly waiting for a response...
Mand contacted me separately today; I've replied - once she's got back to me I'll post my comments to the thread as I do feel they might be of value to the community.
Though that was two days ago, so I guess I might get a bit wrinkly waiting for a response...
Mand contacted me separately today; I've replied - once she's got back to me I'll post my comments to the thread as I do feel they might be of value to the community.
Quote Mand contacted me separately today; I've replied - once he's got back to me I'll post my comments to the thread as I do feel they might be of value to the community.
ummmm, something we don't know about Mand?
I was expecting to see "once she's got back to me........"
It's definitely Mand, and I'm definitely a she.
PM replied to.
PM replied to.
Ahh, whoops.
Have not been here so long as to know.
My apologies.
Have not been here so long as to know.
My apologies.